50 shades of Grey

Four guys have been going to the same Golfing trip to St Andrews for many years..
Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!

"Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night.

Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!

She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, Here I am!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar ... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne ...

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me ... I am celebrating'

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.

'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but

today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'