> >> These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
> >>
> >> FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
> >> 8 years old,
> >> Hateful little (Ooops).
> >> Bites!
> >>
> >>
> >> FREE PUPPIES
> >> 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
> >>
> >>
> >> FREE PUPPIES.
> >> Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
> >> Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
> >>
> >> COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
> >> Also 1 gay bull for sale.
> >>
> >> JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> >> Must sell washer and dryer 100.
> >>
> >> WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
> >> Worn once by mistake.
> >> Call Stephanie.
> >>
> >> **** And the WINNER is... ****
> >>
> >> FOR SALE BY OWNER.
> >> Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
> >> Excellent condition, 200 or best offer. No longer needed, got
> >> married, wife knows everything.
> >>
> >>
> >> Statement of the Century
> >> Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.
> >> "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't
> >> have a headache
> > and sex at the same time?"
> >>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> >> Children Are Quick
> >> ____________________________________
> >>
> >> TEACHER: Why are you late?
> >> STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
> >> ____________________________________
> >> TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
> >> JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
> >> __________________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
> >> GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
> >> TEACHER: No, that's wrong
> >> GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
> >> (I Love this child)
> >> ____________________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
> >> DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
> >> TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> >> DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
> >> __________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
> >> didn't have ten years ago.
> >> WINNIE: Me!
> >> __________________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
> >> GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
> >> _______________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
> >> MILLIE: I is..
> >> TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
> >> MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
> >> ________________________________
> >> TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
> >> tree, but also admitted it.
> >> Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
> >> LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
> >> ______________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
> >> SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
> >> ______________________________
> >> TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
> >> your brother's..
> >> Did you copy his?
> >> CLYDE : No,sir it's the same dog
> >>
> >> ___________________________________
> >> TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
> >> people are no longer interested?
> >> HAROLD: A teacher
> >>
> >> __________________________________
> >> PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH Due to current economic
> >> conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
by 
Subject: British humour 
