Latest topics | » 4. Bakewell meet, 2nd to 11th June 2024 by Ambilkate Today at 10:23
» 5. Lee Meadow Farm Matlock, 11th to 18th June by John Sutcliffe Mon 22 Apr 2024 - 22:03
» 1. Haxey Quays, 9 nights 03/05/24 - 12/05/24 by jolly camper Thu 18 Apr 2024 - 16:29
» 3. Bridlington meet 1st to 10th June by jolly camper Tue 16 Apr 2024 - 16:34
» 2) Breighton Ferry, 12th to 17th May by Chameleon Thu 7 Mar 2024 - 2:16
» New Member Hello to all by beerdrinker Sun 4 Feb 2024 - 17:35
» New member by Ambilkate Mon 29 Jan 2024 - 19:33
» RIP Sharon Lomas by Polly Tue 16 Jan 2024 - 21:49
» Christmas greetings by Polly Fri 29 Dec 2023 - 21:35
» Emmisions by rebbyvid Tue 12 Dec 2023 - 13:36
» 6) Xmas meet at Whittingham club, 30/11/23 to 04/12/23 by Ambilkate Tue 5 Dec 2023 - 21:56
» Rally Group Reminder by KSH Tue 21 Nov 2023 - 22:51
» 2024 meets open by jolly camper Tue 7 Nov 2023 - 21:37
» 2023 AGM details by KSH Sun 5 Nov 2023 - 11:14
» 4) Bridlington meet, 4th to 11th July 2023 by KSH Sun 5 Nov 2023 - 11:02
» Techno by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:55
» SORRY by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:49
» Birthday greetings by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:46
» 5) Haxey Quays 29/09/23 to 09/10/23 by graham & dale Fri 29 Sep 2023 - 13:49
» New meet lee meadow farm by jolly camper Thu 14 Sep 2023 - 23:45
» Morecambe by Polly Thu 14 Sep 2023 - 18:58
» 2) The Breighton Ferry, Breighton Selby, 01/05/23 to 09/05/23 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:56
» 3) Bakewell Rally 1st June to 8th June 2023 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:23
» 1) Haxey Quays, 21st April to 1st May 2023 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:11
» Rally Pack by KSH Fri 23 Jun 2023 - 20:42
» Apologies I've deleted pics of fbook group by Ambilkate Fri 9 Jun 2023 - 23:45
» Happy birthday Jolly Camper by John Sutcliffe Fri 2 Jun 2023 - 13:55
» 2023 - Motor-Homers AGM, time and location by KSH Sun 28 May 2023 - 20:04
» Hello everyone. by Ambilkate Sun 28 May 2023 - 19:25
» INFO FOR THOSE ATTENDING BAKEWELL 1stJUNE TO 8th 2023 by Ambilkate Sat 27 May 2023 - 23:17
|
| | More to make you smile | |
| | Author | Message |
---|
Leapy
Posts : 3265 Join date : 2012-11-13 Age : 75 Location : Staffordshire
| Subject: More to make you smile Tue 4 Nov 2014 - 7:28 | |
| A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Social Security Offices.
‘ My good man,’the fairy said, ‘ I’ve been told by David Cameron to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'
The man told the fairy: 'Well, in Iraq where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and…
-- PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'.
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Coast with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Iraq; I want to bring them all over here.
PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.
'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be English with English clothes instead of the rags and shawl , and I want to have white skin like the English.'
PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn-out trainers, a dirty Man Utd T-shirt and a greasy baseball hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.'What happened to my new teeth?'he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?' The fairy said 'Tough luck.
Now that you are English,
You're entitled to Sweet **** all like the rest of us.
And she disappeared. | |
| | | Leapy
Posts : 3265 Join date : 2012-11-13 Age : 75 Location : Staffordshire
| Subject: Re: More to make you smile Tue 4 Nov 2014 - 7:29 | |
| Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena, is still a Virgin -- in every vay." The doctor told him, "Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on dere as long as you can." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together... quite an impressive work of art. Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went on their honeymoon to Duluth . That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Olaf...you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez." Olaf immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at dis Lena ... still in DA CRATE!" | |
| | | Leapy
Posts : 3265 Join date : 2012-11-13 Age : 75 Location : Staffordshire
| Subject: Re: More to make you smile Tue 4 Nov 2014 - 7:31 | |
| | |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: More to make you smile | |
| |
| | | | More to make you smile | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| Visit Our Amazon Associates Store |
|
|