mother in law

A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born"I don't mean to be rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son."The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said,"I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fanny, not a friggin photo copier

> The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President

> Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

>

> "Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency!

>

> I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has

> burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply

> of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."

>

>

> Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all

> those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in

> from Mexico ...."

>

>

> Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field

> day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK" ?

>

>

> Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million

> condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll

> continue to respect us as Americans."

>

>

> Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the

> first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of

> condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested...


> All coloured with Union Jacks with small writing on each one:

>

>

> MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL

I have a joke about Fifty Shades and was wondering if to post it on here. Its a bit risque